‘Ello, I wish to complain about this dove of peace
what you ‘ave been selling for over half a century
from this very international alliance boutique.
Oh yes, the, uh, the United Nations Blue…
What’s,uh…What’s wrong with it?
I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my good sir.
It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
No, no, it’s uh,…it’s resting.
Remarkable bird, the U.N. Blue. Beautiful plumage!
All right then, if it’s restin’, I’ll wake it up! ~
‘Ello, Mister Secretary General!
I’ve got a lovely fresh war for you if you wake up…
There, it moved!
No, it didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!
I never, never did anything…
Exactly! Now look, mate,
I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this.
That dove of peace is definitely deceased,
and you assured me that its total lack of movement
was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out
following a prolonged debate.
No, no…..No, it’s just stunned!
Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was wakin’ up!
United Nations Blues stun easily, sir.
No! That’s what I call a dead dove of peace!
Well, I’d better replace it, then.
Sorry squire, I’ve had a look ’round the back of the HQ,
and uh, we’re right out of doves of peace.
I see. I see, I get the picture.
(pause) I got a slug?
with thanks to Monty Python and the artist Yücel Türkoğlu
for the inspiration.