Two by Two

We’re building an ark to save humanity
To populate an harmonious new colony on a distant trajectory
Applications are now open but this is no random lottery
We want two of the best of you from each walk of life
Including minorities and anyone else we might have forgotten

A man and woman and two gender non-specifics or neutrals
And two from each of the LGBTQ plus communities
That’s two of each of you from every social category
From all major and minor faiths, castes and spiritualities
Yes that’s two of each including anomalies

Plus atheists, pacifists, flat-earthers, poets and militarists
Two of each gender / non-gender / neutral / LGBTQ plus etceteras
We’ll take a couple of hippies, as above, from inner and outer cities
And reps from all the trades and public and private services
From carpenters to call centre workers, plumbers to pole dancers

Two of each, you’re getting the gist, even nuclear physicists
Frackers, real estate agents and anyone else that rhymes with ist
We’ll need pro-lifers, pro-choicers, cross-dressers and transgenders
Those for and against abortion and end of life ethics
All the colours and mixes under our dying sun

Late to bed and early to risers, disabled, abled, willing or lazy
Kings, queens – noble, porn and drag – in variants of he, she and ze
Veterans (with or without arms or legs or Royal consent)
Ladyboy shemales and their opposites (with or without certain bits)
Always one of each, it goes without saying, further details in the list

Politicians from left to right with a selection box of centres
Yep, sorry, it’s one of the least popular terms and conditions
But without which we cannot receive the tax breaks
On our private donors’ financial contributions
Like the Elon Musks and their artificially intelligent friends

Applications will be accepted from near and afar
From Eskimos, Rednecks, Down Unders, those on the Equator
Or Tropics of Cancer, Capricorn and horoscope astrologers
Two of each remember, that means Brexiteers and Remainers
Mustn’t forget Gypsies, Romanies and New Age Travellers

In all their varying shapes and small to XXL sizes
From anorexic to morbidly obese, athletic to sluggish
There will be cabins to suit all sizes, two in each of course
Tea, coffee and meals for all tastes and diets provided
So please form an orderly queue when your name is called

For the ark we are building to save humanity
To populate an harmonious new colony on a distant trajectory
Applications are now open but this is no random lottery
We want two of the best from each walk of life
Including minorities and anyone else we might have forgotten

(sorry – no room for pets or any other animals)