looking over the edge…

I have been to the ends of the Earth
And looked over the edge
There was darkness the depth of which
Took away my breath and left me speechless
Come away from there you cried
But the pull was too great
The drop too enticing
The thrill seeking adrenaline junkie
Cliff jumping euphoria was too appealing
I was mesmerised for those few minutes
Captivated in a traumatised trance
Gripped by something other worldly
Temptation raged war through my blood
Pounded brain cells to incomprehension
Made me question my former sanity
Places I had travelled
People I had seen
Their homes and faces staring back at me
Laughing and cajoling and beckoning to me
And then
Your hand
Touched my arm
Your words
Brushed the darkness away
And retreating
I found your quiet embrace
The souvenir seller
The vendor of forgiveness
The future holder of all life’s secrets
And I bought them all and promised you
Never
Never
Never
Would I go again to the ends of the Earth
And look over the edge to be tempted by the darkness that lies beneath.

FB_IMG_1467894491153

Daily one word prompt: Darkness

in a hole

in a hole

grubbing about

black truffled soil

snouting with pouts

a clawed devil pitcher

grappling blind looks

this mole-eyed watcher

tunnels trenched foot

in the dirt demon darkness

wormed thoughts tickle roots

sniffling and snuffling

guffawing great hoots

lost to the shadows

wearing jackshitty boots

shod to the marrow

black clods crumble books

in a last wasteland wordscape

killer kisses are blown

quicksand tragic faces

turfed walls tumble down

with a gargle and choke

hemophiliac blood flows

thrown from life’s saddle

never knowing what goes

in the twist of a tale

cockchafing cockroached

mankind’s mother lizard

regrown and reproached

unthinking unkilling

eternal misrest

left in a hole

grubbing about in a vest 

 

 

(With this piece I wanted to combine several different images in order to create one complete theme. I started by thinking how it would feel to be stuck down a hole unable to get out. The scenario turns somewhat nightmarish with the addition of (Lord of the Flies pig) and burrowing mole references. The darkness and shadows represent the threat of anxiety and depression. There is fear too. Written on or just after the 100th anniversary of the battle of the Somme it was difficult not to ignore the ghastliness of the trenches. Grappling blind looks is a play on grappling hooks. Likewise jackshitty boots for jackboots and jack shit as in nothing or not knowing / understanding anything. There are other war references to be found but mostly by the second half the imagery is sufficiently confused and mixed up that it could apply to any of these thoughts. I’ll leave you interpret the remaining lines as you wish. All I would say is that by mixing imagery and blurring definitions I hope there is enough freedom on behalf of the reader to apply his or her own meanings. What do you think?)

retreating

retreating

(ooh a little darker. Those moments when the pitch black tunnel of self-doubt opens its ugly jaws and begs you to enter and be damned but you fight back and say no! It might only last a moment, it might last some a lifetime. I had half a mad gothic mind on Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast novels. Steerpike, Flay, Swelter, Barquentine, Fuchsia. Haunting their way through the castle story en route to their individual tragic endings).

Painted Rocks

I wake
to a blank morning
your tears stain the pillow
like drops of memories left abandoned
on a melted heartbeat burned
and charred under this equatorial sun

another step closer the edge
another deep breath

a paradise for tourists
a flaming hell for the unbelonging
glinting sunlight on wave after wave
crests diamond studded and jewel reflected
as far as your eye could never see
when blinded by such darkness

another step closer the edge
another deep breath

I relive your last moments
imagine your plight
but it is unfathomable
lost to me on a dolphin’s dive
you are simply gone now
another name on a painted rock

another step closer the edge
another deep breath

IMG_0140[1]

(this piece links to my previous post – the memorial to those who had committed suicide by jumping from a cliff on Gran Canaria. I tend to use the theme of wide open spaces – sea, sky, deserts, highways – in which to arrange and hang my imagination. I try to leave enough room between my words for readers to place their own interpretations –  a dreamy vagueness perhaps. I might use this idea of linking from one post to the next as an aid to writing and exploring different subject matter. It is all too easy to get bogged down with the same old words and never realise that your writing has stagnated).