fragile

i.
fragile
a leaf exposes its veins
like a drug addict in a brownstone
blown on a southerly breeze from Central Park
long the length of Lexington
climbing high on escape ladders
peering into dark spaces
where people go to rot
like leaves exposing veins
describing in detail
fragility

ii.
and waiting
waiting for the wind to blow it back again
an easterly or westerly to knock it sideways
into a bar or coffee house
over the heads of pimps and whores
over the piss soaked floors
through the rear doors
into alley canyonways
narrow and thin
gangling and unfed
unwashed

iii.
sin soaked
adrenaline stoked
feeling the walls with both hands outstretched
like you are mighty
like you are Jesus fucking Christ almighty
born from a Black Tupelo in the park
blown on the breeze down Lexington
to a brownstone graveyard junkie den
stroking the vein just because

iv.
you are thin as an alley canyonway
warm winds in the subway
crazy like the echoes in Grand Central Station
comingup escalators
comingup brownstone stairs
knocking on heaven’s numbered doors
wondering which is yours
running your finger over your vein
you’re a leaf
see through
fragile

v.
blown from one trip to the next
the needle’s whore
summer’s autumn
autumn’s winter
your black clothes the color of mourning
the leaf crumbling in your palm
dry like your shrivelled skin
disintegrating before your eyes
waiting waiting waiting
for that southerly breeze

vi.
to blow you the fuck away . . .

escaping the nightmare

i.
losing track of the days
rain washing them off the calendar
down the hillside
into the river
the beautiful boiling foaming gallivanting river
carried out to sea
a bloated body shaped log twisting in the current
no need for days when land recedes from sight
exodus

ii.
caught in the undertow
pulled under
beautiful black sleep
watery grave
seaweed blankets and luminous algal blooms
I wake somewhere unknown
far from the reality I have known
I am reborn
I am Adam
I am Crusoe
and here the sun warms my waterlogged bones
purity

iii.
I am reborn
cast up to the heavens on the back of a leviathan’s tail
shot from the bows of ancient hunters
scribbled on the walls of forgotten caves
clothed in animal skins
bearer of my own history
wanderer of continents
I meet no-one as I wander deserted lands

iv.
I am a deserter
words fail to leave my mouth
thoughts never dare to form
I am mute
I am blind
my actions are instinctual
my behaviour animalistic
grunting scratching cavorting wildly
I roam the land lost and blind and searching for an evolutionary window
mute

v.
mutating
opportunistic
impulsive
alone
hermaphroditic
shrinking evolving ever smaller
diminishing in stature
losing relevance
returning to the soil
to the sea
I crawl back from whence I had come
primordial again
a microbial organism
disease causing

vi.
man making
from the stars from outer space
I am reborn
I am finally free
free to float and roam in my own galactic bubble
creator of galaxies
time traveller
eternal being
master of my own destiny
limitless lover of freedom
I am gone
I am free
I am I
I am
I