(AA Gill is away)

I know I know

I shouldn’t read the Sunday Times

Not when it’s one of Murdoch’s multifarious crimes

But AA Gill when he was not away

Could always be relied upon to make my day


I know I know

He was Clarkson’s pal

And I know I know it’s slightly irrational

But I kinda like Clarkson too

Both him and Gill breaking taboos


I know I know

He was often a pompous twat

With his crooked smile and critic’s hat

To all the bad restaurants he caused harm

The Blonde his accomplice on his arm


I know I know

I also have a thing for Camilla Long

Another one of Murdoch’s throng

Her with the specs and extra-large fonts

Times New Roman for all your movie wants


I know I know

I should be a Guardian reader

And not give money to that Aussie bleeder

But AA’s words always made me smile

Dyslexic, acerbic, slightly juvenile


I know I know

I will miss him so

Unlike Clarkson with his Grand Tour show

I hope Ms Camilla takes his place

With charm and wit and social grace


(AA Gill is away)


28th June 1954 – 10th Dec 2016